Henna Sent
I dont have many male friends, so can you please tell me if this is normal between two friends?
This friend of mine was so keen to show me his body, dont know why….
He had henna tattooed all over his upper body for a joke and i wanted to see the back, where most of it was, so he texted pictures over to me of his back
Then he kept asking me if i wanted to see his abs….i wasnt that interested but he kept asking me so then i said yes, and he sent another pic over….(no henna in this area)
My question is, do all guys love to broadcast their bodies like this or is he just showing off? (he hasnt got much reason to show off)
I think i should mention that he’s got a great personality too – not all just looks.
yeah pretty much, if he thinks he has a nice body, he just wants reaffirmation that other people think he does too.
Henna Sent
Shaheen Women’s Resource and Welfare Organisation – Challenging Patriarchy and Breaking Stereotypes
The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “It’s a girl.” -Shirley Chisholm.
In the congested by-lanes of the Old-City around Charminar in Hyderabad, lies Shaheen a Women’s resource and welfare organisation. This is one the few NGO’s in the country that works for Women’s welfare and empowerment. The organisation works on the principle that change happens when cultural norms are challenged. Indeed change is what we require with regards to the status of Women in India.
According to a recent report by the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) up to 50 million girls and women are missing from India’s population as a result of systematic gender discrimination in India. In most countries in the world, there are approximately 105 female births for every 100 males.
In India, there are less than 93 women for every 100 men in the population. The accepted reason for such a disparity is the practice of female infanticide in India, prompted by the existence of a dowry system which requires the family to pay out a great deal of money when a female child is married. For a poor family, the birth of a girl child can signal the beginning of financial ruin and extreme hardship.
Such is the condition of Women in India that we face today a strategic elimination of a gender from our country. This in the information age and when some news magazines have termed the “New Indian Woman” aware, confident and successful, this new age woman is capable of doing wonders and a great asset to the nation. There is more awareness than ever before but the system of patriarchy still prevalent is hampering growth for the woman. Domestic Violence also is a concern as many husbands still believe that it is their right to harm women physically. Till the age old power equation of male dominance changes, the future of Women is not secure.
The social evils of Dowry, Infanticide and Domestic Violence pose considerable problems for women across India. An often stated fact is that these activities are confined to rural and backward sections of the society, which is grossly untrue as Dowry and Female Infanticide are still practiced in educated, respected and upper class family. Much of the discrimination is to do with cultural beliefs and social norms. These norms themselves must be challenged if this practice is to stop.
Diagnostic teams with ultrasound scanners which detect the sex of a child advertise with catch lines such as spend 600 rupees now and save 50,000 rupees later.
At Shaheen that is precisely what a group of young, enterprising and bold women led by the Secretary Jameela Nishat believe they can do, that is, bring changes into the very system. The organization works on improving the condition of women from the grassroots level and has a bottom-upward approach towards their empowerment. There are many problems apart to which legal recourse is possible. Many women in the old city face constant discrimination and lack of education. Education for the girl child is not a priority and many are confined to their homes, exposure to the outside world is extremely limited. The goal of Shaheen is to empower the next generation to make them aware of their rights and break the stereotypes so that women are treated equally in every walk of life.
Organizing summer camps to sensitize school going children is undertaken regularly and there are regular vocational training classes for women. These classes train them in activities such as computer awareness, stitching, application of Mehendi (Henna) for free. This is a move to empower women who have not had the luxury or basic opportunity to access or benefit from education. Despite the fact that it is an organization for women’s development the main aim is to sensitize boys and men towards women. Empowerment is the key to freedom, and education is empowerment, basic education and free tuition is a regular feature.
Women need to know that they have the right to ask questions. Field workers venture out regularly to educate families in the old city about the dangers of HIV/AIDS and report cases of domestic violence. Awareness includes counseling of the women attending at the centre on issues of dating and choosing a mate to marry.
Many girls are married off without even being consulted. Empowerment has paved the way for independence as Arshiya Begum, a visitor at the centre says, “I have a boyfriend but do not want to get married now as I am too young. My mother knows about him, I will get married later but to a person of my choice.” An active domestic violence cell operates with a lawyer on the staff. Regular counseling among the husband and wife helps in getting to the root of the problem and helps in easing tensions. Organizing of public meetings to educate the masses and make them aware of the movement is a regular feature.
As with any new social movement towards change and challenging societal norms there are several hurdles to conquer. Initially families did not want interference in their “personal matters” and uncomfortable questions about sexuality and AIDS brought with them attacks and large scale protests. Marital Rape is not recognized as crime and refusal to have sex leads to many incidents of domestic violence. Awareness leads to the reporting of these crimes and decrease their occurrence.
Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. -Margaret Mead. Women need to be a part of the socio-economic development of the country to progress. Women have long been suppressed and the second gender now it is time for a change in the system.
Interview: Jameela Nishat, Secretary, Shaheen.
Q) Why a special organization for women’s welfare? What about general welfare organizations?
A. There was no organization in the old city area for women and the other welfare organizations are strongly patriarchal. During the nascent stages of the organisation there was a conference for men titled, “Woh mard ki kya joh apni biwi ko nahi marta?”(He who does not beat his wife physically is not a man). Someone had to raise a voice against this, a voice for women.
Q) How difficult is it running a woman’s welfare organization?
A. There are many obstacles. People did not let our workers enter the house. We were attacked many times for raising questions about the dominance of men. Girls are alone in this struggle, our effort is to unite and empower them. I am a Muslim woman born in Sultan Shahi and know how the old city works, so I take care of it. If I were a Hindu it would have been difficult to survive. A local person has to be the leader, otherwise the effect is diluted, and every group has a mainstay. We have several Dalit Haryanvi women here and we are trying to find a leader among them to get the message across effectively.
Q) Where does the law come into the equation of Domestic Violence and denial of rights?
A. There is little or no help from the police and the courts are slow. Most matters are settled with counseling, the police in fact ask the women (the most victims) to make all the necessary and required adjustments. Even in a Women’s police station the situation is the same, the society needs to be sensitized towards women. That is the reason for our interaction with boys and young men in our localities.
Q) Does the presence of women in politics and bureaucracy help?
A. There definitely have to be women in politics and bureaucracy to empower women especially at the grassroots level. The emergence of Mayawati has been a great push. We began when the woman was a ‘nobody’, due to awareness has become a ‘somebody’ but the goal is to become part of ‘everybody’.
Q) How does communal violence affect women?
A. Oh! Women are treated as dispensable commodities and sent away from home and only men remain there. This has an adverse affect on their education and displaces them putting them in conditions much worse than home.
Q) Empowering women, does it mean that you are giving a voice to the voiceless?
A. Most definitely yes, women are as much part of the society as men. They deserve to have their voice heard and strive to lead a life on equal terms with men. Lots of families have a fictitious notion of “Izzat” (honor) which do not allow women to step out of the house. We intend to change that and the media specially the regional language newspapers and television channels play a major role in spreading awareness.
The Shaheen Centre is located at:
23-3-540, Baqshi Bazar, Sultan Shahi,
Hyderabad-500065.
Andhra Pradesh, India.
Phone:- 23486994.
E-mail:- jameelanishat@eth.net
About the Author
Freelance writer for MetroMela and Channel 6 Magazine. Managing partner of ProVFX Visual Effects and Editing School.
So I’m getting a henna tattoo tomorrow?
What designs would look sexy on my lower back? Send me some picture links or give me some ideas (:
Oh and I have softball practicethe next day after that. Do you think the sweat will ruin it or what should I do? Put deodorant or hairspray on it before practice?
Sexy is objective. What is sexy to you, may not be for me. You have to decide that one…
Essential Oil & Henna Experiment
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